The Missing Kennedy: Rosemary Kennedy and the Secret Bonds of Four Women

It’s no secret to anyone who enjoys reading about the Kennedy family that two books about Rosemary Kennedy have been published within days of one another. Both books have similar titles. They even have the same photo of Rosemary on the cover.But only someone with close personal knowledge of Rosemary could have written this book—The Missing Kennedy. And Author Elizabeth Koehler-Pentacoff is that person. Ms. Koehler-Pentacoff’s beloved aunt, Sister Paulus Koehler, cared for Rosemary Kennedy for thirty-five years. And during that time, the author visited Sister Paulus and Rosemary many times at the Catholic home for the mentally ill in Wisconsin where Rosemary was incarcerated. No writer can achieve this level of detail and insight through research alone.Rosemary suffered oxygen deprivation during a badly managed birth, leaving her—in words of the era—mentally retarded. She did poorly in school and sports, setting her apart from her smart and athletic siblings. The family kept Rosemary at home until she was sixteen, providing her with tutors and specialists in the hope of making her life as normal as possible. After spending the next two years in a convent, Rosemary returned home once more, unable to progress past the fourth grade.Even so, Rosemary, diagnosed with mental illness because of her disruptive behavior, could perhaps have had a constrained, but nearly normal life surrounded by loving family members willing to watch out for her. But not long after Joseph Kennedy became the United States Ambassador to England, Rosemary’s frequent anger and out-of-control behavior, coupled with her growing beauty began to put her at risk of trouble.Sent to a convent at twenty-two years old, the nuns discovered Rosemary sneaked out at night to meet with men in taverns, men only too happy to take advantage of her beauty, lack of sophistication, and disability. Sent back home, Rosemary demanded the same freedom to come and go as her siblings enjoyed. Her behavior sometimes turned violent; she had seizures; she was uncontrollable.Rosemary’s father, Joseph Kennedy, searched desperately for help. He turned to a doctor (who today would be labeled a quack) in 1941 for a new procedure that promised to help people with agitation, depression, and behavior problems: a lobotomy. The operation as performed on Rosemary essentially destroyed part of the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain involved in abstract thinking and regulating behavior.Rosemary had to learn to walk again, how to talk, how to use the toilet. Locked away for two decades by her father, she had no visitors, no stimulation. The once vibrant beautiful young woman with behavioral problems was gone.So much of what I’d believed about Rosemary Kennedy is wrong, and the truth is a horrendous cautionary tale about just how badly things can go, even with good intentions. The parallel life stories of two families which intersect with Rosemary Kennedy and Sister Paulus Koehler, is fascinating. Told with compassion and intimate details, The Missing Kennedy is a book that cannot be overlooked.Connie Goldsmith, book reviewer for The New York Journal of Books, and California Kids, a Sacramento regional parenting publication.

Rosemary Kennedy was the one Kennedy sibling we never got to know. She was misdiagnosed as "retarded" and at the age of 23 was lobotomized. Because so much secrecy surrounded her life she became the object of myth: her father was vilified for having allowed that procedure to happen and further demonized because it shattered Rosemary's cognitive abilities. Her mother did not know what had been done to Rosemary and she did not even know where Rosie was for 20 years.Ms Koehler-Pentacoff was the niece of Rosemary's primary caregiver at St Coletta's school in Jefferson, WI. Secluded there in 1949, Rosie was surrounded by loving Franciscan nuns and had a warm, caring life for 56 years. This book tells the story of the author's life with Rosie in it: it was a time of dancing together, walking about the grounds, going to restaurants, enjoying life as a family with her. There are sweet tales of the successes as Rosie learned new skills and even recaptured abilities that had seemed lost to her.The book also explores the incredibly bad conditions of mental institutions in the first half of the 20th century and illustrates that current conditions are, in many ways no better. One of the strengths of this work is how the author weaves together the horrible pain secrets can cause in families, be they Kennedy or Jones, with the beauty that comes with sharing our suffering and letting others share theirs with us. Her family so loved Rosemary Kennedy---and she gave back that love in full measure.Members of Eunice Kennedy Shriver's family participated in the research of this book, which gives it considerable added value. The writing is strong, the author's voice is sure and steady. Personal photos of Rosemary with the Koehler family which have never been seen by the public before are wonderful addition, revealing an almost lost member of America's most famous family who was surrounded by people with whom she found shelter and affection.I really loved this book---and I own more than 300 Kennedy books......this is one of the best.

This is a revelation to me; who grew up hearing the Kennedy's are this and the Kennedy's are that. Such good Christians. I have chills at this story.How horrible. I am the daughter of a man who pressed clothes for his living. Worked hard. Long hours ...my parents provided for me and my 2 brothers on very little money.They idolized the Kennedy's.I'm glad the Kennedy kids brought light to the mentally disadvantaged (retarded), but my dad would not have liked them had he read this book.Had he known JOE, butchered his daughter for his own gain. And hid her.My brother was profoundly retarded. We never knew why.Secrets.But mom and dad kept him home.It was hard.One thing I cried about was for 20 years a mother doesn't know where her child is? And doesn't care to find out?What a despicable jerk Joe kennedy was.She was learning disabled.All their money, and you couldn't keep her near family. You selfish jerk.I'm very disappointed. Glad Rosemary got away from those cold parents.Thanks to the nuns who did the parents job and showed Jesus love to her. Thanks to her nieces and nephews who seem more compassionate.I've been to Hyannis ... I live in Kennedy country. They have lots of property, and Hyannis is away from Boston. Hide her there with a staff of nuns.So sickening and sad. But a wake up call.How many more secrets do the rich and famous have? And who let Joe Kennedy play GOD?Oh yeah the rich care!!!😢

Like the story, which was kind of sad.

Enjoyed this insight to the Kennedy family. Very sad that her father was unable to talk to the family about her. Life may have been so much happier for all of the family. To

Had just finished reading The Camelot Years, so was looking forward to this book. So disappointed in the content, the lack of depth and actual information. On the plus side, the photographs were interesting.

Not what I expected, a lot of information about her carers.

Great loved this read